Unworthy
by Lauren Williams
Summary: Takes place from the moment Lena and Stef invite Callie and Jude to be part of their family and ends how the episode ends. Twisted to show more of Callie's mental state throughout the episode and connected to my other story Trust (so there are some differences between the actual episode and this story on that principle). Spoilers for the last episode of the summer season!


**Unworthy**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my thoughts and ideas. Characters all belong to ABC Family.

Notes: So, although I wasn't super happy with how the summer season ended, because I feel as though someone should have stopped Callie from just up and leaving or Wyatt should have just returned her to the Fosters, I think my brain has an idea of more of the why she did it. So, here it is. It basically starts around the time that Lena and Stef tells Jude and Callie that they want to adopt them and make them part of the family. Like my pervious story, there may be elements of Braille but it's not a primary aspect of the story. This is more about the internal struggle that Callie goes through up to the moment she decides to leave. It also follows a similar storyline as my last story, meaning that I am going with that version of how the Liam storyline came to an end instead of the shows (which on a completely didn't note, I didn't hate when they finally got back to it. I just wish they had given Callie a little longer to process what happened…or at least showed Stef and Lena being outraged at what the A.D.A. even suggested Callie do instead of tell the truth).

_**IMPORTANT**_: This is connected to my previous story, so if you have not read that (and this is not a shameless ploy to get you to read that) some elements of this story are going to seem wrong to you. Just so ya know!

Enjoy!

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Callie felt as though a tribunal had been called as she and Jude sat on the couch in the family room. Opposite them were Lena and Stef, both wearing a hopeful and happy look on their face. The twins and Brandon stood off to the side, each wearing their own expressions that ranged from happy and content to excited. Callie bit her bottom lip as she took in the Foster family. She was pretty sure she knew what was coming, based on their demeanor, and her stomach was in her throat just thinking about it.

Sitting next to her, Jude felt hope fill his heart. Ever since they had rescued him from their last foster home and had taken them in, he had hoped the Fosters' would adopt both him and Callie. He loved living there, he loved having Jesus as a big brother and sharing a room with him, and he loved Lena and Stef being their moms. But he was also scared too, because this was a big step for both him and Callie to make. He just hoped it would work out this time.

Lena started, "So, we've already spoken to Brandon and the twins about this…but there's something we'd like to ask you guys." Lena looked over to Stef, barely containing her excitement, her knees bouncing up and down slightly as she sat Indian style on the chair.

"We would like to know how you would feel about making this a more permanent arrangement," Stef took over for her, looking at Callie and Jude hopefully.

There was a moment of silence in the room before Jude said, "You mean, like adopt us?" Callie could feel how excited Jude was as he said those words. She gently rested her hand on his knee to calm him down. She hated when he got his hopes up and had them crushed again.

"We think you guys deserve a home, and we'd really like it to be ours," Lena answered, smiling at them reassuringly.

Callie looked over at Jude's smiling face and knew that she he wanted this to be true and much as she did. She wanted to believe that this was their last home, their forever home. But she also didn't want to burden this family, who had already done so much for her. She didn't want to bring bad luck upon them; she didn't want to curse them.

"Are you guys okay with this?" She said, turning to the twins and Brandon. Mariana was smiling at her and Jesus smirked and nodded. Finally she looked at Brandon, her rock for all intents purposes; he looked at his siblings and nodded as well.

"There's enough to go around," he said with a smirk, echoing exactly what he had told his parents when they had asked about the twins becoming a part of their family.

Callie felt tears well up in her eyes as she peered over at Jude once more, she laughed to cover the sob that threatened to escape.

"So is that a yes?" Stef asked, getting her attention once more.

"Yeah," She said softly.

All of a sudden they were being rushed by the moms. Lena ran to grab Jude who basked in the love and affection that she gave him and Stef shouted, "Yes, they said yes!" and came over to hug Callie. She tried to smile and be as happy as everyone else in the room but she only managed a forced looking smirk. Her arms came up to wrap around Stef weakly and she felt her breath quicken as she tried to squelch down the panic that was rising within her.

Eventually the moms let them go and allowed their new siblings to also express their excitement. Mariana was the first to approach Callie; she was bouncing with excitement as she threw her arms around her in a reciprocated hug. Ever since the confrontation with Liam at the school they had been closer than ever, sometimes just spending hours of time in each other's presence and enjoying the safety that they drew from each other. Jesus came next and he quickly embraced Callie and kissed her on the cheek. He too had been very protective of her since the whole Liam situation. He always made sure that someone was around to walk her home after school and was quick to approach any guys who seemed like they were looking at Callie the wrong way. Lastly came Brandon, he pulled her into a long and drawn out hug, both clinging tightly to each other for a moment before pulling apart without any words.

"Welcome to the Foster family!" they all said in unison.

The excitement of the morning eventually died down because there was a wedding that afternoon that had to be set up and everyone was rushing around trying to get everything done in time. Because of this Callie was able to grab some alone time in her and Mariana's room to digest the mornings events.

She sat curled up on her bed and allowed her mind to drift over the conversation she had with Jude a month ago when Stef was fighting for her life in the hospital after being shot by Jesus and Mariana's birth mother's boyfriend. She had told him that this family was lucky, unlike theirs, so everything would be alright. Callie couldn't bear to think about the fact that they all could have lost Stef that night and she couldn't help but think that next time they might not be so lucky.

As she fell even further into her self-loathing she couldn't help but count the amount of times she had put the family in danger since she got there. There were at least two incidents where one of them could have died directly because of her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she was the reason any of them got hurt.

By the time she had to put on her dress for the wedding she was contemplating telling the Foster family that she just couldn't stay with them. She could beg them to keep Jude but she was just going to continue to put them in danger and they were better off without her. She figured that not having her there was going to keep them all safe.

Walking down the stairs in her light purple dress she went to search for one of the two women only to find that guests had started to arrive and she was quickly overwhelmed, her previous thoughts of talking to them about not adopting her forgotten. She went outside quickly, hoping to not have to engage any of these new people in conversation until she had settled her nerves a little bit. Despite the therapy Stef and Lena had been paying for, she still felt uncomfortable in large crowds of people she didn't know. She knew she had to find someone from the family to stick with her or she was going to dissolve into a panic attack and ruin the wedding.

Eventually she spotted Brandon putting some champagne on one of the tables and she quickly approached him, trying to seem calm despite everything inside of her raging against that feeling.

"Hey, can I talk to you a sec?" she asked him, wringing her hands. Brandon looked at her and instantly became a little concerned, he knew how crowds sometimes effected Callie and he wanted to make sure she was able to enjoy her adoption day and their parent's wedding day.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked her, looking around to see if one of his parents were nearby to help him if he needed it. He knew they were better equipped to help Callie when she became overwhelmed and he still didn't completely trust himself with her alone. Although he tried to put his feelings for her away, he found it almost impossible. No matter what he did, he couldn't hide his attraction for his soon to be adopted sister.

Callie didn't say anything; she just grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the side of the house, where they normally kept the garbage and recyclables. She figured they wouldn't be disturbed there and she would be able to calm down and talk out her feelings with Brandon before the wedding was in full swing. She hoped she would be able to thank him for everything and then make him understand why she couldn't stay, why it would be better for everyone if they just kept Jude and returned her or something.

Once they were alone Callie turned back towards him. "I wanted to thank you," she started. He had been something solid and consistent in her life from the moment she met him and she couldn't help but express that first. He had been with her when she went to rescue Jude from her last abusive foster home, he had helped protect her from Liam without even realizing it, he had been the first person she had felt comfortable talking to about what had happened to her, and he had stood by her and supported her throughout the trials that ultimately decided that Liam was guilty of assault but there was not enough evidence to convict him of raping Callie two years ago. For a few days after the hearing she had been devastated, thinking she had gone through the whole process for nothing, but Brandon had stayed with her and reassured her that she had done the right thing. He was the second most important person in her life, behind Jude, and she wanted him to know how grateful she was to have had him in her life.

"For what? You kind of yelled at me last time we were alone," Brandon joked, referring to a couple of days ago when he had tried to comfort her after a nightmare by telling her everything was alright. She had responded harshly and vehemently told him that everything was never going to be alright ever again. She had apologized in the morning and he had immediately forgiven her but it was still yet another thing that haunted Callie. She just couldn't seem to do anything right.

"Yeah, I know," Callie said, pausing and swallowing before continuing. "I wanted to thank you for … believing in me … when I didn't believe in myself."

"Anytime," Brandon responded immediately, still worried about where Callie was going with this but keeping a reassuring smile on his face the whole time.

"You know, um… I might not have gotten the outcome I wanted with the trial, I might not have gotten the justice I deserved, but I…um…I…I know what I deserve now so…" she said shakily, trying to smile.

"Do you?" Brandon asked, stepping closer. All he wanted in that moment was to kiss her and take away her pain and fear. "Because you do, you deserve to be happy," he said, still approaching. "You're amazing," he licked his lips, "and kind, and smart, and beautiful."

At those words Callie felt her knees go weak and she had to look away from the intense gaze that was directed at her. She couldn't believe him … she wanted to, but she couldn't. She was bad news, she only hurt the people around her and they always left her in the end. This wasn't where she wanted this conversation to go, she was going to tell Brandon that she couldn't live with them, that she had to leave, that they had to take care of Jude… and yet she couldn't get those words out. Because, at that moment, she felt loved and cared for by someone who wasn't being paid to do so. He was the first person to make her feel truly special since Liam had when she first moved in with the Olmstead's.

"…and you deserve to be happy, you deserve to have everything you want." He continued. Callie wanted to scream for him to stop, it was intense and overwhelming and she didn't know how to respond. She felt her whole body in a state on confusion and she felt dizzy and unaware of her surroundings. "Don't you?"

His question pulled her back to that very moment and before she knew what was happening she had moved forwards and crushed her lips to his, drawing comfort and love from him in the only way she knew to, the only way the past six years of physically and sexually abusive households and taught her. Euphoria took over as he deepened the kiss and her hand found the hair on the back of his head at the same time his hands found her waist.

But as soon as it began, it stopped again as they heard the gate moving from behind Brandon. They broke apart quickly, both panting and dazed, and were met with a devastated looking Jude. He stormed past them; throwing the trash bag he had been carrying at their feet, and quickly went out the back gate into the alleyway behind the house.

Without thinking, Callie went to follow him. She knew he was upset, and he had every right to be. This was bringing everything back to how it had been at the Olmstead's two years ago. They had been ready to adopt them, under their son Liam's wishes, and then she had been caught kissing him in the hallway and they had been removed the next day. To Jude, it was like the same scene playing over again. Callie had to explain that this was different…and yet she didn't know how to.

Brandon was left stunned, watching the girl of his dreams run away after their kiss. He was snapped out of his shock by Tayla, his current ex-ex-girlfriend coming from the same place Jude had moments ago.

"Hey, what are you doing out here, come on." She insisted, dragging him away. He wanted to shake her hand off of him, he wanted to go after Callie and Jude and help, somehow. But he allowed himself to be led away instead, a decision he would eventually regret more than any other moment in his life.

"Jude stop!" Callie exclaimed, rushing after Jude in the alleyway.

"Why do you have to ruin everything?" He replied, hatred laced in his tone of voice. "I like it here; they were going to keep us!" He couldn't even turn to look at her; he was fuming and was afraid of what he might say.

"I'll never do it again Jude, okay? I promise," Callie responded immediately, tears in her eyes and her voice shaking as she tried to hold her emotions back.

Jude turned towards her and she almost recoiled at the look in his eyes, it was unlike any look she had ever seen on him before.

"Yes … you will. Or you'll find some other way to ruin everything because that's what you do," his voice was deadly calm as he looked in her eyes. Gone was the carefree little boy and in his place was an angry, hurt, and scared little boy who just wanted a home and a place where he belonged. He thought he had finally had all of that and now he was seeing it slipping away again. "You can't ever just let things be, because you don't know how to do that."

"Jude," Callie said, trying to stop the tirade before she lost it and collapsed in a fit of tears. She loved Jude more than life itself and to hear these things, they just ripped her apart inside.

"But you don't just ruin things for you," Jude said, becoming even more angry. His anger was affecting his words and he was beginning to say the most hurtful things he could think of. He now knew everything that had really happened at the Olmstead's, what Liam had done to her, and he wasn't mad that they had been removed from that home like he had been originally, but he couldn't rationalize that now, he just wanted to hurt her for ruining his chances at a family. "You ruin them for me to. Because we're a package deal, you know they're not going to separate us. You act like you care about me so much, but you don't. You only care about yourself. You're selfish."

As soon as the words left his lips Jude wished he could take them back. He saw how much they hurt his sister, the sister who had taken numerous beatings to protect him, the sister who had been raped and kept quiet so that he could be happy. He hated himself for staying them but he couldn't take them back. He needed time to cool down, away from her. He turned and walked away as quickly as possible, back through the gate and back into the backyard where the party was now in full swing. Jesus immediately came up to his side and threw and arm around him.

"Lots of pretty people here tonight bro… need a wing man?" he joked, purposefully keeping pronouns out of his sentence because he knew Jude seemed to be struggling slightly with his sexuality. When Jude didn't laugh immediately Jesus continued, "Come on man, everyone knows that weddings are a great place to find someone!"

That time Jude did crack a smile. He went off with Jesus, joking quietly. He just needed some time away from Callie, some time to cool down. He would apologize to her in the morning.

Callie had hit the ground as soon as she heard the lock click on the gate. Her knees hit the gravel and she felt biting pain but ignored it. Jude's words echoed in her head:_ You don't care about me. You only care about yourself. You're selfish!_

She let out a gasping breath and hugged herself tightly.

Jude was right. She was selfish. She wasn't thinking about Jude at all when she kissed Brandon. All she was thinking was that it felt good to be loved and to have someone show her how much they cared about her like that.

She shouldn't have done it, she knew that. But she couldn't take back the fact that she did. Maybe her file was right, maybe she is sexually volatile, and maybe she shouldn't be able to live with a family in a nice house.

Later that night, during the ceremony, when Jude brought the rings up, Callie saw how much her brother was loved by this family. She knew he would be in good hands if she were no longer around to ruin his life. And when Lena and Stef kissed, and the family went crazy cheering and clapping, she just couldn't smile, knowing that she wouldn't be a part of this much longer. She knew she would miss it, she would miss being a part of this crazy unconventional family, she would miss quiet nights reading to Jude before bed, and bedtime talks with Mariana, and quiet stolen moments with Brandon and his guitar.

As everyone joined them on the dance floor she saw Jude walk off towards the cake. She knew he was still mad at her from earlier but she wanted to say her peace and not leave on a bad note with him.

"So you were right. I've been selfish," she admitted, hating the fact that Jude wouldn't even look at her as she was talking to him. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to be selfish anymore, okay? I promise."

At those words Jude looked up at her and raised his eye brows as if to ask whether she meant it or not. Callie gave him a look of her own in return that assured him that she would never ruin his life again. He nodded but was unable to say anything, he was still mad from earlier and was afraid of what he might say but he was glad that Callie was going to make an effort to make this work.

They were interrupted by Mariana dedicating a song to her moms and eventually they found themselves being pulled onto the dance floor with the Foster family. Callie took this last moment to silently say goodbye to everyone, she made sure to dance with everyone and get one last hug in because she knew this would be her last interaction with them as a family.

As Callie walked out the front door that night, she kept the vision of how happy the family had been that night replaying over and over again in her mind. She loved each and every one of them in their own way and she wanted to preserve that happiness. The only way she could think of doing that would be to leave them alone.

She spared on last glance at the house she had called a home for the past four months before slipping off into the street and into the darkness.

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So…that was my take on the episode with a twist. I really just wanted to give some insight on why Callie may have done what she did at the end, beyond the whole fight with Jude thing. I truly believe that Callie has some serious demons that she fights on a daily basis and that they helped lead to her decision to leave the family to keep them happy and safe.

As a side note, I know the scene between Callie and Brandon was written using the same dialogue but I twisted the meaning behind some of what was said to fit my storyline and to make it work with the story I had written about the aftermath of the episode _The Fallout_. I know that might have been confusing to some who have not read my other story so I do apologize for that. I also added a plethora of emotions that Callie was bombarded with in that scene, some of which I added from my own personal experiences. Everyone is different though, and my experiences may be very different from someone else who has experienced similar things so I hope I didn't offend anyone.

Once again…hope everyone enjoyed.

As another side note, I am contemplating writing something that kind of went through each character's feelings on the aftermath of her leaving. I'm not sure yet because I just hate believe that she really left the house in the dead of the night and was able to get in Wyatt's car without anyone noticing she was gone. I want to think that they will start in January with the Foster family figuring out she is gone and realizing the only other person that she knew in this town was Wyatt and them finding her through that…but who knows.


End file.
